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\*/11:25pm\*/ The fleeting date 04/17/2015
  So let's test this. If anybody still gets updates on my posts in here, comment or let me know otherwise.  
     Can i dissuade you?
\*/12:28am\*/ The fleeting date 01/17/2011
mood: hopeful
I suppose at this juncture in life i'm supposed to feel more adult- as ever I do not. Though it's my expectation with each passing year I grow increasingly confident that i will, in fact, never achieve this status known as "adulthood". I'm ok with this, though, and in fact even comfortable with it. With a new year of my life ahead of me, I do feel the need to be born anew, much like the phoenix. I'm making only one change at first, and this i hope will lead me to greatness- I'll be canceling my subscription to WoW.

For anybody who does not know me (and truthfully, who would be reading this entry BUT those who know me) this mightn't seem like a terribly important decision- This is after all simply a game.

But it isn't. I've the terrible habit of dedicating myself wholeheartedly to my interests, almost to the exclusion of all else. I Live, breathe, think, and obsess over whatever it is that has piqued my interest. At work on every break i check for the latest blue posts/Patch notes- at down time during work i consider new talent builds and make lists of what I'd next like to do. And at home WoW is the first thing i do when i come home and the last thing i think of before I sleep. I would fear a burgeoning addiction to this game, but in actuality this is something of a pattern with me- Going back to my days in elementary school/Middle school when I'd play mega man time and time again- speed running, no damage running, and even reading Nintendo power for information. And after megaman it was my interest in reading animorphs/Goosebumps; I would obsessively collect and read each one, going so far as to have my parents purchase them for me that I might organize them, numerically. And after that it was pokemon, the pokemon tcg, The Occult ( a brief stint/interest in wicca and other such things)...the ist goes on, with my two recent interests being, of course, Magic the Gathering and now WoW.

Wow has lost it's Lustre as of late, though. And this is why i don't think of myself as an addict. When i'm finished with something i can discard it. But never have i done what i endeavour to do now, to drop an interest with nothing in its place!

I will be going from a living breathing entity that fills me to, presumably, nothingness. It is in this nothingness that I hope something can prosper. I'd like to begin writing again, truthfully- I'm an excellent writer. Perhaps not right now, as with all things my abilities have grown rusty with dis-use. But- eventually..Who knows?

I will, as i do with any life change, be changing my online presence to reflect this different facet of myself. I prefer to store my past away; not forgetting but paying no heed to what I was. Certainly, i am who i am as a result of my experiences, but i feel the need to break from them. Consider it an outward sign of an inner change. I feel like there's a better way to describe this. Alas.

In a way i suppose this could be considered my love letter to myself. Looking over the beginning of this, and even all the way back to when i would keep my thoughts in Deadjournal, i've matured greatly.

Coming full circle, I suppose perhaps i am the adult i never thought i would be.

So. Journal.

Don't forget about me, okay?

I won't forget you.




P.S.- Would it really be a journal post of mine if i didn't say something offensive?
Cunt. There you go. :D

P.P.S- I'll be giving select few people my new journal name- it may or mayn't be on livejournal. Jose, Dana, Josh.
     Can i dissuade you?
Broken Promises   
\*/12:30am\*/ The fleeting date 07/06/2010
mood: Reminiscent
I seem to recall promising a revamp of my journal last time I wrote, which was surprisingly not all that long ago. That SO didn't happen. I tried writing in my journal just the other day, actually, but i seem only to be motivated at night, around this time, with Josh asleep. I don't know but that I consider the very act of journaling to be a very private experience. Once it's been done I seem to be quite fine with the world seeing..but during i am secretive. Listening to some older music. For me, not really older in a broad general sense. Well Maybe so. /shrug

I've no desire to be prosaic tonight.

Do you ever feel trapped inside your mind?

Capable of so much but unable to affect any change?

And unable to clearly express yourself verbally?

I suppose in writing my thoughts are able to take on a much clearer form. Not entirely certain why, but i enjoy communicating this way much more.

I think it's the passive nature of words in print; i understand them so much better. Nuance, inflection, subtlety, all things to take into consideration when in actual contact with somebody. But words...are just that. They simply are. There is no hidden meaning, other than what is of course intended and somewhat easy to figure out.

I feel more like...me, in my writing. Free? Perhaps. More open, certainly. Things i could never find the words for in person flow in writing.

My Kingdom for a world that communicated only in texts!

An interesting story concept, certainly.

I lack cohesion in my thoughts tonight. they're kind of everywhere.

And appropriate capitalization, it would seem.

I like the sudden end to journal entries.

Doing so here, however, would be so predi
     Can i dissuade you?
It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now.   
\*/01:30am\*/ The fleeting date 06/29/2010
mood: thoughtful
I always come back to you, journal. It's funny that I've not named you; I imagine i'd have a greater propensity to fill your inky void were you more human and less cold impartial nothingness.

IN checking my friends page and everybody individually i seem to have found some sort of solace for my thoughts, ironic then that it would be found in a most public of forums. I imagine the only person who still reads this is Nesi (HI NESI!). I probably spelled that incorrectly, it's been ever so long since last I spoke with her. Our friendship from Early high school was tenuous to begin with, and distance, I'm certain, has not helped it.

So why then am I in you, Journal? To my chagrin i have no burning desire to write, a pity really as were i to find some way to publish my musings I could likely make a living doing such.

SO I suppose, should anybody wander across my journal I should log what all's going on in my life. I work at *another* call center atm, GSI Commerce. THey handle some very high profile clients; radioshack, kennethcole, burberry, toysrus, aeropostale, and my little universe of restoration hardware. I kno, you've never heard of them. Unless you have in most cases more money than sense, you likely willn't have. Essentially they sell very high end furniture, going to the website should be sufficient to see. Of note, a sectional that goes for 13k dollars. It's...really not bad. I hate working in general, but this job is at least rather easy and the people easygoing.

Mom's still dead, no miraculous resurrections or anything. Matthew wanted to visit her grave for Mother's day...It was sad. Though I exist in a state of perpetual apathy, i could feel that he missed her. I learned that she knew she was going to die a week or so ago prior to it happening. I think most people know when they're going to die; but that it's a macabre fact that most don't speak of.

Father is no longer in my life for the most part; he's in jail. He ran a red light while intoxicated (again...:/) and then shortly thereafter was caught driving on his suspended license with expired tags. He had long ago made the transition from functioning to non functioning alcoholic...

I'm still, of course, with my BF Josh. I read his livejournal and have come to realize how little i appreciate him; I'd like to change that. I'd like to change me.


Ie, my year. I feel it should be transformative.

I think I'll revamp you, Journal. Change your look, your feel...you are so blue.

and Mechanical.

Perhaps something dark, with Blue and Purple Abstract Swirls? Something elegant and gay.

I must rest for the coming day of work. Good night to you, Journa, and to any who may, perchance, happen across my musings of this night.

See you soon.
     ~1~ Of the commenting persuasion...  - Can i dissuade you?
Tee Hee   
\*/02:32am\*/ The fleeting date 03/23/2010
mood: sad
Time. It is a fascinating topic, is it not? I've recently become one of the denizens of facebook, and have finished with a romp through, well, my past. SO many names and faces i recognize from high school, all different, with just a tinge of familiarity that stops them all from being complete strangers.

I wonder how different my life would be had i stayed in Ohio. Would i have had the courage and support to be who I am today?

I certainly would not know the people that I now do, people who are, *shock*, close to me.

Some closer than others.

I'm tired of depending on people for rides from work. They must tire of it too.

I'm afraid i've become quite burdensome.

It looks like just dana and i remain on livejournal, though infrequent our postings may be.

with the array of social media available, it comes as no surprise to me. MOst people in these times find it difficult even to fill an entire twitter message, let alone an "essay" as it were, comprised entirely of your thoughts. Or Perhaps people simply like privacy.

I feel alone in this site though. Everybody who would frequent it has since moved on. Jose might get an email update, I suppose. Dana may read it. But now this journal is something of a haven.

I could express how i feel, but, interestingly, dr. seuss has done so already for me.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
     ~1~ Of the commenting persuasion...  - Can i dissuade you?
My Birthday:   
\*/06:09pm\*/ The fleeting date 01/19/2010
mood: depressed
So, here's how it went:

Day before- My wow account was compromised, i lost nearly everything.
Day of- All of my friends made other plans, and other than Ben weren't able to do anything.
Day after: Nate and Bri and Ben (again, yay) came over, which was cool, but then i found out my car blew its head gasket and i basically need to rebuild the engine or get a new car. Still never saw Jose :(

However, Trista's Aunt is selling a Jeep for about 500$. Which is yay, save for it's a manual. But i can learn.

Apologies for the succinct post, journal, however i am on break at work.

oh, i also lost my cell phone holster.

HAPPY 24TH Birthday!
     Can i dissuade you?
\*/11:19pm\*/ The fleeting date 01/18/2010
mood: bored
I wonder why livejournal has fallen so far out of favor amongst m friends? X.X So bored...
     Can i dissuade you?
Captain emo!   
\*/03:00am\*/ The fleeting date 01/09/2010
mood: nostalgic
Just some thoughts. Not in the mood to be prosaic.

Those Halcyon days. I don't miss Ohio as much as i miss the security I felt when i was younger.

Everybody probably hung out today without me. That slightly saddens me.

I love music. It is also sad that I am utterly incapable of making it.

Dieting is annoying. All i want atm is something fattening, or sweet, or good tasting.

on a related note, i actually *like* cottage cheese. Is there a cheese out there i don't?

My guild doesn't do anything with me anymore. Or i don't do anything with them. I'm not sure whose fault that is.

Josh will have a warlock at 80 soon; i'm certain he'll actually enjoy it.

The Situation with my car seems hopeless. I feel like i'd be better off moving to a city where i can walk everywhere,

I finally have new, adequate hygiene products. Nice. My kingdom for some hair ties!

I have cancer on my neck. Well, a pimple. But it feels like cancer.

Thus far this year i feel like i've been "relatively" successful in keeping my goals. It's also only been 9 days x.x

I may create a new, secret journal. Don't think i'll tell anybody about it, but if you know my naming conventions with characters it won't be hard to figure out.

I am surprisingly emotionally invested in the music on my computer. I've gone through two-4 computers at this point and have always ported the music over from them. I realized that i can tie a memory to nearly every song on here, and i have something like 20g of music. Perhaps not a lot by other standards, but i would be inexpressably sad if i were to lose it.

I wish i weren't used to Florida's weather at this point.

I'm wearing the shirt Jose got me. It makes me happy.

I wish i had new friends. Not that i don't want the old ones, but i'd like to expand my horizons, as it were. Perhaps this isn't the best place to do so though.

I grow tired of the pattern inherent in day to day life. Would that my life were more varied.

"Everytime I see your face I think of things unpure, unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
I'll take you home and make you like it
Everything you ever wanted
Everything you ever thought of
Is everything I'll do to you
I'll fuck you and your minions, too
Your face reminds me of a flower
Kind of like you're underwater
Hair's too long and in your eyes
Your lips a perfect "suck me" size
You act like you're fourteen years old
Everything you say is so obnoxious, funny, true and mean
I want to be your blowjob queen
You're probably shy and introspective
That's not part of my objective
I just want your fresh, young jimmy
Turning, slamming, ramming in me
Everytime I see your face I think of things unpure, unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
I'll take you home and make you like it
Everything you ever wanted
Everything you ever thought of
Is everything I'll do to you
I'll fuck you till your dick is blue"
     Can i dissuade you?
Meow Meow   
\*/02:23am\*/ The fleeting date 12/24/2009
mood: pleased

Hee hee.
     Can i dissuade you?
I've heard that bitches get stitches. Confirm/deny?   
\*/01:44am\*/ The fleeting date 12/15/2009
mood: indescribable
Always do I greet you, eldritch Journal. You are among several things i truly like, despite your lack of use. Is it strange that I consider you an old pal, always ready to jot down my caterwaulings, with a nary word to the contrary. My silent confidante, never judgmental, merely observing as my life unfolds. And i need not wonder about your intentions, as your cold, unfeeling interface is a constant reminder of your inhuman Nature.

I'd say that I digress, but one must "gress" as it were, to digress.

I can not for sure really describe the mood that I am in, save that I feel the urge to jot myself down electronically.

I feel like 2010 will be a transformative year for me. I'm growing my hair long again, and for some strange reason I feel empowered. Perhaps because again my outside is a reflection of my inside; something unique and quite out of the ordinary. I feel more confident, like I matter, and capable of tackling almost anything.

It's saddening, really, how important my appearance is. I plan on losing weight in 2010, so i've kinda just let go and enjoyed the holiday season. IE, I've gotten fat XD

WoW has become a daily expenditure of my time, and though i'm not necessarily happy with it, I've little else to do. Ergo, i have a shaman in full tier 9 XD I don't necessarily identify with the shaman as a character, but in retrospect it is fitting; kind of an odd character that doesn't really have a pre-defined niche in a lot, or most fantasy genres. I'd like to get to college, but am concerned with the financial aspect of it. The prospect of working a menial job i barely tolerate is more concerning, however, so i must do everything in my power to ensure I can complete my studies. Josh, I think, will be a big help with that, in keeping me motivated and whatnot.

A thought occurred to me, borne out of my experience with a multitude of games, and it is as follows:

"Given any sufficiently complex system, I will be entertained"

Am I an intelligent person?

Am I really?

One could superficially, say so. I don't think that's necessarily accurate however. From my observations of my reactions/thoughts vs. The general Majority, I feel that perhaps i perceive events/situations/the world differently from most. My schema is different, as I learned in AP Psychology.

I feel almost disconnected from the real world. Not in a literal, medication requiring sense, but on a more subtle level. I don't...think, i suppose you could say, about the majority of my actions. They always just seem like what I should do. Josh brought this to my attention; he loves to plan events and feels without a plan that things will fail. It has been my experience, however, that simply doing something without planning ends up working out splendidly for me.

I've reached the point where i can no longer recall the original intent of my journal entry.

I wish that I had some manner of discipline in my writing, i feel i could be an amazing author if i could ever stick with it/not get bored.

I despise this state, though not the people in it.

I don't have much of a family anymore. I've decided i must create my own. Josh, Jose, Nate, Errk, Ben, they are all a part of it.

The metaphysical aspect of life intrigues me. Is there truly something beyond my senses? Am I so encumbered by my physical body that i am incapable of perceiving the wonders around me? Or is the world truly so drab, so boring, and not filled with mystery?

Do I wish to live in such a world?

What If i die, and that's it? No afterlife, no great understanding, just existence one second and then none. Even my great dream of living eternally has been vanquished in reading about the ultimate state of the universe several eons from now. Ie, heat death and the like.

How did our universe begin? What triggered this? What was outside of it? I think perhaps the fact that we exist is the single greatest proof of a creator. This begs the question, however, who created the creator?

The concept of "always has existed, and always will" Defies my understanding.

Infinity has that effect.

I think, if reincarnation exists, I'd like to come back in my next life as a Tiger.

Surprise surprise.

even the concept of reincarnation is scary though. I mean, it'd be an amazing comfort to know that I have a soul, and that i shall always exist in some form or another.

But i'd never get to keep that info. I would become, again, an empty vessel, ready for a new life. I seem to recall being a small child and being quite sure i had lived before. And being aware of the concept of death, yet not fearing it. I don't have a lot of memories from when i was a child.

I don't have a lot of memories period. I love very much in the present, almost painfully so. It is a blessing and a curse; i can for example not really recall a great deal of the trauma growing up inflicted, due to the situation i lived in; however the few good times elude me as well.

Such a long, spaced out entry. It's almost like i'm saying, passive aggressively, don't read this. TLDR, and whatnot.

I don't know how i feel about that.
     ~1~ Of the commenting persuasion...  - Can i dissuade you?
*le sigh*   
\*/07:54pm\*/ The fleeting date 11/13/2009
mood: sad
Oh journal, you tattered remnant of what was.

I lament the past, truly i do.

I wish that things could again be filled with fun as once they were.

TLDR; I miss my friends.

So many good, good times.

but it seems we have all gone our seperate ways.

     ~1~ Of the commenting persuasion...  - Can i dissuade you?
\*/02:22am\*/ The fleeting date 11/10/2009
  I find myself increasingly often searching for something larger than myself.

It is only in twilight's murky recesses that i engage in this longing for meaning.

Bri let me Borrow Pandora.

     Can i dissuade you?
New Music INC   
\*/01:06am\*/ The fleeting date 08/31/2009
mood: bouncy
I've been looking around on the internet- This seems to be a fairly new group with a good song.

     Can i dissuade you?
Oh snizzap!   
\*/11:32am\*/ The fleeting date 08/17/2009
mood: accomplished
So, as you all are aware, from following my twitter -_-'..

Totally lost my job at Percepta. Boo-fucking-hoo, hated the place anyway.

But now i have a new job!


I do NOT have to sell anything, btw ^_^

My schedule is 11:30-9, Monday Tuesday Wednesday Friday, with a 4 hour shift on Sunday.

I chose the schedule, it's kinda weird XD

but, yay, new job for me :P
     Can i dissuade you?
\*/04:08pm\*/ The fleeting date 08/12/2009
  I know I'm behind the internet times and everybody else has seen this already, but:


Also, I WASN'T the last person to realize the double ontondray In "If you seek "Amy"

Adam totally just found out about it a couple of days ago when i told him.

And it was, indeed, priceless.
     Can i dissuade you?
\*/11:41am\*/ The fleeting date 07/19/2009
mood: thoughtful
Le Entry!

And FO Realz!

Josh is asleep in the our bedroom, and the apartment is devoid of any noise save for the slow, steady ticking away of a keyboard. I Suppose i've switched gears and now primarily use twitter to document goings on in my life, and have Josh to talk to about any problems I may have; ergo this journal has fallen into disuse.

So, then, one must ask themself, if i don't follow Chris on twitter, and he never goes out, how am I expected to keep up with his life?

Never fear, for I am here.

My family life is, as you can imagine, largely non existent. Matthew started buying his own home and has an old, semi-friend of mine living with him, named Brandi. I've only really hung out with her a few times, but she was amusing and pleasant; Matthew probably made a good choice in having her as his room mate. My father was supposed to move in with him, but has not.

*Chris Griffin WHAAAAAA?*

So, my father lost his job a while ago due to rampant alcoholism. From what Matthew's told me he would just randomly not show up for a couple days every week, and when he did he smelled strongly of Alcohol and was Hung over. His girlfriend left him, and he's been taking out of his 401k just to live. He was going to move in with my brother to hopefully get some semblance of his life back together, but he now just sits around the house drinking all day. My brother moved EVERYTHING out of the house except the living room furniture, even the TV, but my father just sits on the few pieces of furniture that's left and drinks every day away.

You know, though, i'm not actually upset about that. I feel like I probably should be, and that many people in my situation likely would be. But..I'm really just over it. Nobody wants to think ill of their parents, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm just done dealing with my parent's problems. I spent 18 years of my life in their household, with roughly 10 of those years cleaning up my parent's mistakes so my brothers wouldn't have an even shittier time. From watching my brothers every day when both my mother and father worked menial jobs since there was nothing else they could do, to desperately trying to wake up my parents after they had passed out drunk while wrapping our christmas presents, to covering up my parents after they had passed out in various states of undress on the living room floor. I'm just finished with letting their, and now his, actions rule my life. I also feel like there's not much I could do. I've helped a lot of people in my life. I don't mention it ever because it's not really important; I don't need a morality pat on the back. I don't know if i could even do anything to help my father, though, when i just feel utter indifference to his goings on.

My brothers though, are pretty amazing individuals and it's nice to see them grown up so very, very much from the children they were. Danny has had his Job at wal-mart for a while now, and actually moved out to his own place with his girlfriend Kara a little bit ago. It's only a studio apartment, but they're trying to start a life together; something truly momentous fro somebody who was always the Baby of the family. And matthew of course has been fine for quite some time; he's an incredibly willfull person and strong spirited. I suppose Matthew Suffered from middle child syndrome; he was constantly given hand me downs and he wsn't given as much attention as me or danny, as i was the oldest, danny was the youngest, and everything matthew did I had done before. But instead of just accepting this, Matthew developed a very strong personality of his own, to the point that you couldn't ignore him. I feel like Matthew's interests in what my father, too, enjoyed, and what is perceived as more normal within our societal bounds, led to him being favored within our family towards the latter part of our lives as a single family unit.

Wow, so that was TL;DR, was it not?

Still working at Percepta, hating every minute of it. I feel as though it's draining my soul, as though i'm a worse person every day for being there. But..there's nowhere else to go. Not with Rent and bills and sundry to pay for. I feel like i'm never going to get ahead in life, and nothing since i got this apartment has shown me that there is even an erstwhile glimmer of hope. It all revolves around money, it would seem, something which i find myself to constantly be in short supply of. I feel like i would need some act of god, an ironic statement from somebody such as myself, to get me out of this rut. It wouldn't have to be an exorbitant amount, just some.

I'm jealous of my friends, TBH. When i look at them all, they all have family support. Jose is living back at home, nate lives with his parents, Eric's parents helped pay for his college and he lives at home with them, dana's parents have helped her with college, ben still lives with his parents...

I feel like life would be easier if i had that kind of support in my life.

I can't really lament that though, as i can't change it. The past is immutable, and is a bitter pill to swallow.

Josh and I are doing great though, and I'm very happy to have him in my life. He enriches every day, and makes me smile like no other person can. I do really love him, and hope to have him with me for a while to come. His car has been having problems lately, and his body's been in pretty intense pain a lot of the time, so i know it can't be easy for him to even do day to day things, but he continues and really only mentions his problems when it's gotten to the point that he absolutely can't stand his pain any longer. He's been kind of depressed lately; he had wanted to get his GPS phone so he could find his way around town and start doing computer appointments again, and start making money for himself. I know he hates it, he's told me as much on many occasions, in his other relationships he's been the provider, the one who pays for everything. The roles are quite reversed for us though and he's not too happy with that. But with his car problems and the phone service being pretty terrible, really, it's kind of depressing; he now can't do any of what he had planned.

Long post is long.

I didn't even touch on half of what i would have wanted to, but this is already tl;dr-EY.

Til next we meet!
     Can i dissuade you?
\*/11:37am\*/ The fleeting date 07/19/2009
mood: chipper
Hey, it's sun day!

     Can i dissuade you?
\*/11:20pm\*/ The fleeting date 06/15/2009
  I don't know WHY this made me laugh so much.

But rest assured that it did.

     ~1~ Of the commenting persuasion...  - Can i dissuade you?
\*/02:01pm\*/ The fleeting date 06/11/2009
mood: enthralled
This is pretty much the best site ever.

     Can i dissuade you?
\*/08:24pm\*/ The fleeting date 06/08/2009
  Guh, am I the only person who didn't realize basshunter's Dota song is pretty much a blatant rip off of pretty rave girl?


Like, did he credit this song at all?

Am I misinformed?
     ~1~ Of the commenting persuasion...  - Can i dissuade you?
\*/12:14am\*/ The fleeting date 05/13/2009
  So, Jose reminded me of this today..wow. This used to be THE funny thing.

     Can i dissuade you?
\*/08:50pm\*/ The fleeting date 04/07/2009
mood: enraged
This is strangely addicting.

Please click and create a character for great justice!

Even if you never intend to play it.

     Can i dissuade you?
\*/11:19pm\*/ The fleeting date 03/29/2009
mood: amused
This is your new god.

     Can i dissuade you?
\*/01:41am\*/ The fleeting date 03/28/2009
mood: happy
I have Dana with me. I would have eric with me, but he pussied out and got tired.

I've been looking forward to this movie for a little bit:

     Can i dissuade you?
\*/10:45pm\*/ The fleeting date 03/16/2009
mood: amused
You can't stop me, motherfucker, 'cause i'm on a boat.
     Can i dissuade you?
\*/04:43pm\*/ The fleeting date 02/08/2009
  This is amazing.

     Can i dissuade you?
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular...   
\*/11:59pm\*/ The fleeting date 01/26/2009
mood: sad
"Dreams the way we planned them..

if we work in Tandem"

I miss me.

By me, I suppose some clarification is in order...perhaps by that, the me in '04 is what I was referring to.

Oh how different my life was.

Not better, necessarily, just different.

Jose often says he spends most of his time containing his anger... I marvel at our similar, yet different states of being.

For where he rages, I weep. I find myself to be an entity comprised of Sadness, something I do well to hide from everybody. If i could list the things i lament, the instances in which i find I am inadequate..

Always will I find something.

I'm only 23, but feel like my best years are behind me.

Is it sad that I have fond memories of High School? This structured adult world is stripping me of everything that makes me me.

I hate this job. So much. But I am forced to keep it, else I willn't have a place to live.

I hate my financial situation, subsisting from paycheck to paycheck.

I honestly think that if i were to reveal myself for the terrible, selfish person that I am, noboy would care about me anymore.

And to quote Draan Together..

"This is the best that I deserve."
     ~2~ Of the commenting persuasion...  - Can i dissuade you?
\*/12:31am\*/ The fleeting date 01/16/2009
mood: ecstatic
omg bitches- I'm 23 now ^_^
     Can i dissuade you?
aww yeah!   
\*/10:56pm\*/ The fleeting date 01/11/2009
mood: shocked
Think of this as a reimagining of 2grls1cup.

     ~1~ Of the commenting persuasion...  - Can i dissuade you?
\*/12:00am\*/ The fleeting date 01/07/2009
mood: cheerful
This post is courtesy of: My Laptop! I'm in my bed, posting from it right now. the I key sticks though, have to push it extra hard.

Yay, Josh rocks on so many levels, best Birthday(early) present ever!

So, I've started over in WoW. Got tired of a PvP server, got tired of a millon different Alts, got tired of Alliance. 'm on the newest server, Grizzly Hills, On Horde. Tigrian's my character's name. We should play sometime :)
     ~2~ Of the commenting persuasion...  - Can i dissuade you?